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Knitting for Father's Day: A Cautionary Epic in Twenty-Two Tweets

Writer, illustrator, and knitter Franklin Habit joins us for his monthly column featuring humor and insights into a yarncrafter's life.

@knitztoomuch Want to knit Dad's gift for Father's Day this year. Don't have tons of time. He likes the usual dad stuff. Suggestions? #knitfordad

@knitztoomuch Sounds like cardigans are the crowd favorite, with hats and mittens a close second. Hmmm. #knitfordad #patternsearch

@knitztoomuch Pondering whether I can finish an entire cardigan with intarsia duck motifs in time remaining before Father’s Day. #knitfordad #quack

@knitztoomuch Cast on half required stitches for left front last night during Bachelorette rerun so am committed to finish entire cardigan. #knitfordad

@knitztoomuch Cannot believe it, am finished with both fronts in 2 weeks. Ducks so cute! Should have complete cardi just in time. #knitfordad #whew

@knitztoomuch Dad casually mentioned over phone that he hates ducks. Has waited 42 years to tell me this. Ripping. #knitfordad #noquack

@knitztoomuch No time for new cardigan, going with Plan B: handsome cabled hat and mittens in wool I bought from indie spinner at Rhinebeck. #knitfordad

@knitztoomuch Yay for mittens that knit up quickly! One down, one to go! #knitfordad #finishline

@knitztoomuch  Will start mitten two as soon as other ball of wool turns up. Must be here somewhere.  #knitfordad #whereareewe

@knitztoomuch Have turned over stash cupboard. Found missing house key and $3.47 in loose change, but not @*$%! ball of mitten wool. #knitfordad

@knitztoomuch Faced facts, going to have to order new ball of wool to finish mittens. Hope she can send by express delivery. #knitfordad

@knitztoomuch Indie spinner from Rhinebeck was witness to mob hit, is now in Witness Protection Program. #knitfordad #yougottabekiddingme

@knitztoomuch Perhaps Dad is fashion-forward enough to rock a pair of mismatched mittens. #knitfordad

@knitztoomuch No, he’s not. #knitfordad #foolingmyself

@knitztoomuch Ripped out mitten. Should be plenty of wool for just the hat. Can knock out a cabled hat in 24 hours. #knitfordad #nosweat

@knitztoomuch Hat is finished. Four hours to spare! #knitfordad #victory #wrapitup

@knitztoomuch Home from store with wrapping paper. Hat is missing. #knitfordad #wtf

@knitztoomuch Dog is looks guilty. Fearing the worst.

@knitztoomuch Found half of hat in dog’s bed. Other half is in dog. #knitfordad #whywhywhy

@knitztoomuch Have about 300 yards of uneaten yarn and one hour, fifteen minutes to Dad’s arrival. #knitfordadorpretendImnotathome

@knitztoomuch Dad loved his knitted egg cozy. Happy Father’s Day! #knitfordad #justwaituntilnextyear

Knitting for Father’s Day: A Cautionary Epic in Twenty-two Tweets | Lion Brand Notebook

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Writer, illustrator, and photographer Franklin Habit is the author of It Itches: A Stash of Knitting Cartoons (Interweave Press, 2008–now in its third printing) and proprietor of The Panopticon (the-panopticon.blogspot.com), one of the most popular knitting blogs on Internet. On an average day, upwards of 2,500 readers worldwide drop in for a mix of essays, cartoons, and the continuing adventures of Dolores the Sheep.

Franklin’s other publishing experience in the fiber world includes contributions to Vogue KnittingYarn Market NewsInterweave KnitsInterweave CrochetPieceWorkCast On: A Podcast for KnittersTwist Collective, and a regular column on historic knitting patterns for Knitty.com.

These days, Franklin knits and spins in Chicago, Illinois, sharing a small city apartment with an Ashford spinning wheel and colony of sock yarn that multiplies alarmingly whenever his back is turned.